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Well, they've been talking about it for some time now

From: Harry Hayfield <harry_hayfield~at~beeb.net>
Date: Tue, 29 Jul 2003 21:18:15 +0100
To: "Jules Verne Forum" <jvf~at~Gilead.org.il>

Aberaeron,
Cardiganshire,
2003

My dear Jules,

You may remember sometime ago I mentioned that a film company were thinking
of remaking your book "Around the World in Eighty Days". Well, I found out
today what they intend to do and I feel I should warn you that you may not
like it.

There is a phrase here in Wales that is often used in films. "It's nothing
like the book, miss!" and I am sorry to state that this film will be
"nothing like the book". In the first case, Passepartout (that honourable
gentleman that you wrote about who serves Phileas through thick and thin) is
a criminal! And if that wasn't bad enough,. he's Chinese to boot!

"Passepartout must make it to China in order to restore a valuable jade
Buddha that was stolen from his family's village. He seeks refuge with an
eccentric London inventor, Phileas Fogg who puts his reputation, fortune,
and career as an inventor on the line in a daring bet to make it around the
world in eighty days. Joining them is Monique a young French artist who
decides a trip around the world would be a perfect cure for her lost
inspiration. After convincing them to take her along for the ride, she finds
not only her artistic spirit, but also falls in love with uptight scientist
Fogg.

Opposing the group is Lord Kelvin who has wagered his position as head of
the Royal Academy of Science against their journey's success. In order to
"stop Phileas Fogg by any means necessary," Kelvin sends the bungling
Detective Fix who plays the comic punching-bag to Passepartout's martial
arts genius. Their adventure takes them to many colourful and exotic lands
from historic London to Paris, India, China, across the Great Seas, to the
burgeoning United States and more. Along the way, the group runs into an
eclectic assortment of characters including Queen Victoria, Scotland Yard
Sergeant, Parisian painter, a hot air balloon engineer, a Turkish Prince ,
an eccentric hobo, a steamer captain and other international star cameos"

There now follows a list of the people involved in this film which I enclose
so that you know who not to write Christmas cards to

Jackie Chan-Passepartout
Steve Coogan-Phileas Fogg
Jim Broadbent-Lord Kelvin
Kathy Bates-Queen Victoria
Cecile de France-Monique
Ewen Bremner-Detective Fix
John Cleese-Scotland Yard Sergeant
Richard Branson-Hot air balloon engineer
Arnold Schwarzenegger-Prince Hapi
Mark Addy-Steamer captain
Rob Schneider-Hobo

All I can suggest is that you complain to your agent as soon as possible and
allow me the chance to be able make a proper version. Hence I end with a
request for 1 million francs to invest in a theatre group here in Wales,
that I feel can do justice to your production.

I am as ever, your loyal friend

Well, that's the plot and cast. What do members make of it?

Harry Hayfield

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Received on Tue 29 Jul 2003 - 23:21:07 IDT

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