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[The Blog of Phileas Fogg: 1883 onwards] October 9th 1884

From: Harry Hayfield <harryhayfield~at~googlemail.com>
Date: Tue, 21 Jul 2009 15:14:04 -0700 (PDT)
To: jvf~at~gilead.org.il

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Sir Phileas Fogg

If you are wondering why Mr. Barbicane is giving me an impressive build
up, it's because I am about to make history. As you will recall,
yesterday we impacted with the moon (and admitedly managed to tip over)
but if we had not we would not had made perhaps the most startling
discovery to rival the invention of the phonograph. The moon has a
breathable atmosphere. How did we discover this fact? Well, when we
recovered from the impact William noticed that window had a crack in it
and simply by blowing on it, it shattered (thankfully outwards) and
despite all the warnings from this box of tricks about the dangers we
found we could breathe quite happily, so this is why at 2322 UTC on
October 9th 1884, I am opening the hatch of the Columbiad and will be
the first man to walk on the moon.

Oh, my word. It's...It's simply stunning. William, pass me the box of
tricks will you? I have to take a picture of this



Amazing isn't it? There up in the sky is our home. What's that Mr.
Barbicane? Ooh, I'd not thought of anything special to say. I'll think
of something. Now, put my feet over the side and simply slide down.

That's one small slide for an Englishman, but a giant leap for humankind

What do you mean "corny" Mr. Barbicane? I thought it was quite good.
Come on out everyone, the moon's lovely I... Goodness, I must have
leapt a good quarter mile. What does this box of tricks have to say
about that? Ah, listen to this everyone. Because the moon is one sixth
the size of the Earth, it has one sixth the gravity. Presumably that
means more floating soup, eh Passepartout? Passepartout? Don't tell me
you are stuck in that... Passeparout? Wake up. Mr. Barbicane I think
that something's wrong with Passepartout I... Mr. Barbicane??? Not you
as well. William, are you... What's happening here??? Is that someone
in the distance I...

WARNING: NON TERRAN LIFEFORMS DETECTED. SCANNING LIFEFORMS. MATCH
FOUND. LIFEFORMS CONFIRMED AS SELENITE. LIFEFORMS HAVE EXHIBITED
HOSTILITY IN PAST. EXECUTING SLEATH MODE. ERROR, STEALTH MODE FIELD
WILL ENCAPSULATE WILLIAM FOGG. PROGRAMME OVERRIDE, TECHNOLOGY CANNOT
FALL INTO SELENITE HANDS. ENTERING SLEATH MODE

--
Posted By Harry Hayfield to The Blog of Phileas Fogg: 1883 onwards on
7/21/2009 10:48:00 PM

Received on Wed 22 Jul 2009 - 01:14:10 IDT

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