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[The Blog of Phileas Fogg: 1883 onwards] October 15th 1884

From: Harry Hayfield <harryhayfield~at~googlemail.com>
Date: Tue, 28 Jul 2009 09:48:34 -0700 (PDT)
To: jvf~at~gilead.org.il

We have done it! We have managed to escape from the moon and with luck
those Selenites will not be in a position to follow us. Now, let's see
if this works. This is the Columbiad calling the TARDIS. TARDIS, do you
read me, over?

Yes, this is the TARDIS, reading loud and clear Father. Over.

Ah, excellent William. I'll come back to you in a moment once I have
explained what happened today. Over.

Of course, can't let down your biggest fan can we, eh Doctor? Over.

As I explained yesterday, I had devised a plan to escape from our
holding cell however the problem was still left that we would be stuck
on the moon and would have to spend the rest of our lives trying to lie
low. This morning we instigated that plan. William very quietly started
to bend the bars of our cell when there was a loud unlocking noise. We
all froze wondering what was happening and I could hear footsteps
approaching. Thinking that somehow the Selenites had discovered our
plan, I told William to stop and for Passepartout to guide his fists
and knock out the Selenite. Just as Passepartout was about to throw the
punch, the cell doors suddenly opened wide. We looked at each other in
amazement and wandered out.

"Phileas!" came a voice. We turned and found a gentlemen dressed in a
tweed jacket wearing a bow tie and a pair of rolled up trousers with
boots not that uncommon to standard Army issue, "I've come to rescue
you!"

"Thank you, sir!" I said, "but how did you know we would be here?"

"Oh, come on Phileas!" he said, "I'm your biggest fan, I always know
where you are!"

Mr. Barbicane tapped me on the shoulder and asked if I knew this
person. I had to admit that I didn't to which the person
replied, "Don't recognise me, Phileas??? Oh, that's..." and then he
paused. "Oh, of course!" he said and started to rumage in one of his
pockets. "Do you recognise this person?" he asked and handed me a
picture of Doctor Smith who I first met back in 1872. I agreed that I
did know him to which he replied, "It's me!"

I was about to get into a very long winded discussion about the fact
that this person and Doctor Smith were two seperate people when a
Selenite came into the area. "Selenite" shouted William and with a
force I have never seen before punched him square in the stomach. The
Selenite stumbled and just exploded but not before he'd activated some
sort of alarm which was now blaring.

"RUN!" shouted the person and despite not knowing who he was, we
followed his advice. He seemed to know where he was going and a few
moments later we were back on the lunar surface and able to employ the
benefits of one sixth normal gravity.

"Well" I said, "that's ruled out us hiding on the moon then. But
there's no way we can get home. The Columbiad wasn't designed for a
landing, it was designed for an orbital journey.".

"How heavy is it?" asked the person.

"20,000lbs" replied Mr. Barbicane, "but" and then he mused. "If we were
to empty all the non essentials, it could be lightened to about
12,000lbs". William (who was bounding ahead) then suddenly stopped.

"I could lift it then!" he declared

"But then you would still be stuck on the moon and how do I explain
that to your mother?" I replied

"Ah, yes, how is dear old Mrs. Fogg these days?" asked the person. I
was about to explode with rage demanding how he knew my wife when it
suddenly dawned on me. Doctor Smith had a blue box and there on the
horizon I could see a blue box standing next to the Columbiad. "Doctor
Smith!" I shouted. "Please, call me Doctor!" he replied.

As we started to unload the contents of the Columbiad and move them to
the Doctor's box (which he calls a TARDIS) in order to reduce the
weight, the Doctor was running some tests on William. About ten minutes
later he came out and gave me the reports. "You always were a bright
one, weren't you Phileas!" he smiled and explained that my theory about
the device was quite correct. William was indeed 36 times stronger than
on the Earth, but I was wrong about what would happen back on Earth. If
William was to be back on Earth, he would be not 6 x 6 times stronger
but 6 x 6 squared times stronger. It took a little time to figure out
the maths but when I did I gasped. "216 times stronger?" I asked. The
Doctor nodded. "And a right little superhero as well!" he smiled. Just
then Mr. Barbicane announced that the Columbiad was now nothing but an
empty shell. The Doctor took a device out of his pocket and waved it
around. "Excellent, 11,500lbs. William, care to do the honours!" We all
climbed into the Columbiad and just as we did I spotted some Selenites
gaining on our position. William, would you care to carry on? Over?

Indeed, I would Father. Over. The Doctor is apparently pretty good at
most universal languages. Now, don't Doctor, you are. He managed to
stop them by announcing that he was a policeman come to investigate
reports of an illegal energy drain operation. Using this as a
diversion, I picked up the edge of the Columbiad (which weighed only as
much as a heavy wheelbarrow), raised it up onto my shoulders, squatted
down and then taking a deep breath jumped into the air thus launching
the Columbiad back towards Earth. This feat of strength certainly took
my breath away, not least the Selenites. "You won't have an Earth"
shouted one of them (in perfect English which I thought strange) and
pressed a button. On the horizon a beam of light started to form. "The
device!" I shouted however the Doctor was already prepared and took a
button out of his pocket and announced that the button he was pressing
would, when released, set off an explosive charge that would destroy
the oxygen generation unit that was providing the moon an atmosphere
and then said something that I thought was rather odd. "I am giving you
a chance to switch off that energy drain device and I should remind you
I am the person who destroyed the Daleks even though I didn't want to".
However the Selenites were having none of it and so the Doctor let go
of the button and on the western side of the moon there was a massive
explosion and that was followed a few seconds later by another
explosion at the site of the energy drain device. As the Doctor opened
the doors to the box and gestured me in he said. "You have 24 hours to
leave this moon or suffocate" and with that he entered as well.

To be honest I had no idea what to be more bemused by. The fact that
this box was substantially larger on the inside than it was on the
outside or the fact that the Doctor had just in essence destroyed the
Selenite culture but left them with a get out clause. "Right, let's
catch up with your father shall we?" asked the Doctor which shook me
out of my thoughts and catch up we have done. Over.

And very well put indeed son. Could I speak to the Doctor for a moment?
Doctor, are you suggesting that we all land at the same time then? Over.

"Ah, thanks for raising that point. According to the scanners here we
are just on the verge of being picked up by that telescope you had
installed in the Rockies, so I'm going to have to leave you for the
moment. What I shall do is take William back to Stones' Hill so it will
only appear that he will have been gone for 30 after you launched. Oh,
I'm sorry, did I neglect to mention that this is a time machine as
well. When William gets back there, he can then steer the conversation
towards picking you lot up. Which reminds me, where would you like to
land? At the moment you're heading towards the North Pole which might I
suggest is a bit cold. Let me steer you slightly towards the bottom
part of the United States, eh? And there we go. Well, time for me to go
then! Don't forget I'll be picking that blog up on New Year's Eve 1885,
Phileas. William?

And I'll make sure that Mother is not worrying about you and I'll try
and keep my strength as hush hush as possible as well. This is the
TARDIS signing off, over and out!

And as I look out of the window I can see the TARDIS disappearing
carrying my son William back to his mother and the Doctor on his
journeys. God speed Doctor. Right then gentlemen, time to relax I
think, we'll be back on Earth in just a few days.

--
Posted By Harry Hayfield to The Blog of Phileas Fogg: 1883 onwards on
7/28/2009 05:46:00 PM

Received on Tue 28 Jul 2009 - 19:48:44 IDT

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